You've probably heard the expressions
before.. "Chin up, shoulders back,"
"Keep your distance," "Feet on the
ground," "Pain in the neck." But have
you ever wondered how they came about? It all has to
do with Body Language.
Simply put, body language is the unspoken
communication we all use in every face-to-face
encounter with other human beings. You could say
it's more powerful than anything said aloud.
Ninety-three per cent of our everyday communications
is non-verbal. Only 7% has to do with words at all.
You could be telling that other person much more
with your body language than you would ever say in
words.
Determining and regulating your own body language
could well mean the difference when it comes to job
interviews, networking meetings, banquets and
business dinners, or even a social occasion, such as
a date. Even trickier is learning to read and
understand the other person's body language.
So, you're probably asking yourself, "How do I
regulate my body language to give a true
representation of how I feel when I interact with
others?"
Start with the distance between you and the person
with whom you're speaking. If you get too close,
people feel you're in their face, or too pushy. Too
far away, and you could be seen as standoffish.
The angle of your body is a dead giveaway to others.
We tend to angle our body towards those people we
find friendly or interesting, and angle away from
those we feel are cold or unfriendly. Crossing your
arms over your chest shows defensiveness. This
posture says, "I'm closed off and keeping you
out."
Eye Contact is one of the most important ways to
communicate with others. Looking them in the eye
shows respect and interest. We've all experienced
the person who looks constantly at their watch, or
seems to be far away and not listening to us. Their
body language says, "I have other places to be
and other more interesting people to talk to than
you." Or the person that you know is not
listening to what you're saying, but instead is busy
deciding what he/she will say next. Someone whose
eyes are downcast, not looking you in the eye could
be exhibiting signs of shyness, or it could be
deceit. Someone who is lying to you will not look
you in the eye.
The head position also says a lot. To show
confidence or authority, simply keep your head
level. This says, "Take me seriously, my words
are important." To show friendliness and
interest in what the other person is saying, tilt
your head slightly to one side or the other.
Mouth movements are easy clues to what the other
person may be feeling. If they purse their lips or
twist them, they could be thinking carefully about
what you just said, or disagreeing with you, but
holding back comment. You can certainly tell when
someone is not pleased.
The handshake is extremely important in the
communication with others. No one wants to shake a
hand like a wet noodle; at the same time, a
handshake needn't be a contest of strength. It's a
handshake, not arm wrestling. Many people also don't
quite know what to do with their hands after the
handshake, especially when meeting someone new. They
tend to clasp their hands together, nervously, or
fiddle with their jewelry.
Since we're constantly sending out these powerful
messages, it's clear we should make an effort to
learn more about what our bodies say to others. And
learning what others are really saying to us is of
paramount importance in our day-to-day
communications.
So, chin up, shoulders back, keep your distance,
head up, eyes sharp, don't be pushy or standoffish,
smile and shake that hand. You too can learn to
speak fluent body language.
Body language is the unspoken communication
we all use in every face-to-face encounter with
other human beings. You could say it's more powerful
than anything said aloud.
Michael Lee is the author of "How to
be a Red Hot Persuasion Wizard... in 20 days or
less", an ebook that reveals mind-altering
persuasion techniques on how to tremendously enhance
your relationships, create unlimited wealth, and get
anything you want...just like magic. Get a sample
chapter and highly-stimulating "Get What You
Want" advice at: http://www.20daypersuasion.com.
He is the Co-Founder of http://www.self-improvement-millionaires.com
and is licensed as a Certified Public Accountant.
