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Remember that zest and relish you once had for life? That youthful enthusiasm that led you to sally forth and tackle anything you met, in pursuit of goals which were perhaps vague, but glorious.

Or have your ambitions been dimmed by setbacks, frustrations and obligations? Perhaps you've convinced yourself that this is reality, and the only thing to do is adjust. Let's face it, if the human brain were not able to adjust and trade off a few dreams, we'd all be off our rockers by the age of 40. So we settle down into an attitude of acceptance, under the illusion that there are some things that cannot change: "I've always been that way, I can't help it "..."It's alright for you...I could never do that, I'm different "..... "I don't have the time ... the money "

The full impact of disappointment often comes when it's perceived too late to do anything about it. That's another illusion, but it's comfortable. We reason with a string of "If only's and "I could have's: "If only someone had told me..." "If only I'd had the opportunity" "If only I'd known, I could have done it all differently." The solution is to build in regular opportunities to reflect on life, so that you can identify the small changes you could make along the way. To have foresight, you need to begin by looking at your life.

Here's a thought, do you really want this year to be exactly like last year? If so, half your luck! If not, it's time to get motivated before the rest of the year slips through your fingers. The year is going to slip past whether you make changes or not. At the end of that time, you will either have achieved what you want, or you will have added more regrets to your list. End of story.

Where to begin reviewing your life.

• It helps to divide your life up into eight sections, like a pie chart. This can be a terrific family discussion exercise. One slice of the pie will be your Professional goals, which might include building towards a promotion, increasing credibility, reducing responsibility, or making a complete change.

• In the Relationships slice, you would look at personal or professional relationships you'd like to form, shaky relationships you want to improve, or old ones that need to be changed. That includes the relationships you have with your partner and each of your children.

• In the Health slice of your life, you decide what action needs to be taken to improve your diet, exercise regime, or manage stress. Perhaps you can combine a heath goal with a relationship goal, for example taking up cycling with the family can combine fitness with a bonding opportunity.

• Let's not forget Relaxation. You know, the stuff you do to stop your brain from exploding? Remember? What about taking up a new hobby, or re-starting an old one; maybe developing a creative outlet; playing a team sport that might combine with a social goal. Holidays come into this section. If you're not good with big chunks of time away, maybe you can schedule small escapes, even just day trips to relax with family and friends.

• And then there's the Economical section. In addition to a savings plan for tangible goodies, it includes retirement plans, investments, insurances, and all those things we can so easily forget to review.

• In the Personal Development section, you review ways in which you'd like to grow personally or professionally, perhaps by increasing your general knowledge, upgrading your qualifications, or developing skills that will help you travel more comfortably through life, such as assertiveness or parenting skills.

• The Giving Back section encompasses ways in which you contribute to making the world a better place. Whether you choose to contribute time, energy, skills or money, it could be towards the wellbeing of others less fortunate, or to ecology, to a specific cause which you'd like to further? If you are a parent, you may already be contributing to your child's school. Perhaps you are active in your community, a Rotary Club maybe, or a political party. It can be hugely fulfilling to realize you can have a significant positive impact on your world.

• The eighth and final slice of your life's pie is the Spiritual slice. For some, that might mean a particular religion, for others, it means exploring different philosophies, for others again it means a search for meaning and self-understanding. For you, it may simply mean being in tune with nature. If you keep an open mind, you may find your perceptions change and your awareness of being part of something bigger than yourself expands.

Don't forget?

If you are introducing change into your life, you need to allow for emotional responses, be they your own, or anyone else's who will be impacted by that change. The world is full of those who cling desperately to what they have and what they do, (even if they're not happy) reluctant to change because it's threatening, or overwhelming.

Be patient with yourself too. Before you can make the required changes, you may first have to develop the skills that will help you achieve our objective or deal with the obstacles that block your progress. It may also require a personality change, such as developing flexibility,

You may think it's impossible to change beliefs and responses that have been a central part of your personality for as long as you can remember. Trust one who knows-in my thirty odd years of experience working with both individuals and groups, I have seen many total personality changes. It can be done. It's just a matter of finding out how, and adding your willingness to the process.

And what about the practical problems to be dealt with, such as lack of time, or conflicting priorities? We can learn techniques for productive and efficient use of time. We can learn systematic approaches to do what we HAVE to do, which will give us more time for what we WANT to do and ease the stress while we're at it.

With some things, such as a career plan or major life change, it can be more effective to work with a professional who can help you make decisions and develop your plan.

Thinking about areas to be improved and even deciding how to go about it may be a good beginning, but will remain just that, unless such thoughts are translated into action.

But how do you get motivated?

One powerful thought that gets me going whenever I'm stuck is the realization that I only have three choices in life.

If there's something I don't like about my life or myself, the first choice is to resign myself, to grumble, complain, regret, but do nothing to improve conditions.

Or, if I decide that a priority is to tolerate the conditions around me, I can choose to adapt to them by modifying my behavior or my attitude, so that I can find some happiness within those constraints. Since the constraints (mostly work demands) were those I chose in the first place, do I really want to waste my energy on regret?

The third and last choice is that I can choose to change.

By the way, if you do choose to have a whine, do it properly. Give it all you've got. I'm serious it's the only way to get it out of your system. A good whine is very healthy. (Can be fun, if it's accompanied by a good wine.) It's the only way to let off steam and stop yourself from suppressing emotions that can be the first indication of something that needs to be dealt with before it becomes a problem. The trick is not to make whining your career.

I confess I'm not yet what I want to be, but I'm glad I'm not what I used to be.