We've
all seen it. A child in the grocery store screaming his or
her lungs out.
Sometimes it's about candy,
sometimes a toy, sometimes for no reason at all. We try not
to stare, feeling sorry for the poor frazzled mother who
usually ends up giving in to her child's pleas, to stop the
embarrassment.
And even though the rest of
us know that giving in wasn't the right thing for her to do,
we're silently thankful that she calmed her child down so we
can continue shopping in peace.
If you're a parent, chances are, you've been that mom. Most
likely, you've given in to the tantrums and probably kicked
yourself afterwards. I know I have. At the time, it seemed
so much easier to just give my son or daughter what they
wanted and put other shoppers (and myself) out of misery.
And it was easier. Until the next time when my child threw
another tantrum, knowing I would probably give in again and
they would ultimately get what they wanted.
First, let me mention a few things I have tried in the past
when my kids threw themselves into a tempter tantrum. These
are things I learned (the hard way) do NOT work:
Unfortunately, children who are in the middle of a temper
tantrum aren't much interested in reasoning. Holding them
only sends them into a squirming fit that usually lands them
on the floor. Spanking makes them cry harder, not to mention
sends the message that hitting when you're angry or
frustrated is okay. They can't hear you yelling over their
own screaming and ignoring only makes your child more intent
on getting your attention, as well as practically begs for
irritated and disgusted looks from nearby shoppers.
But, fortunately, there is something we parents can do to
tame that ugly and embarrassing temper tantrum. Something
that is often difficult and always inconvenient. But, in the
end, helps teach our kids that temper tantrums will be dealt
with. Firmly and immediately.
Are you ready for it?
Leave the store.
I know, I know. Your cart is full of food and you really
needed that carton of eggs for a cake you're baking this
afternoon. But I'm here to tell you, staying in the store
while your child is screaming will only frustrate you more
and cause you to do something you'll later regret. Leaving
is the only option.
Ask an employee to hold your cart for fifteen minutes. If
you don't return by then, they'll need to put your groceries
back on the shelves. But often, taking your child out of the
store for a few minutes is all it will take to calm him or
her down so you're able to finish your shopping. But
sometimes you will need to head home without your groceries
and return later, when you have a sitter or after your child
has had his or her afternoon nap.
Leaving the store accomplishes two major things (besides
bringing peace to other shoppers). First, removing ourselves
and our child from the stressful situation immediately
minimizes the tension so we are better able to calmly deal
with the tantrum. And second, it teaches our child that
throwing tantrums will not get them what they want. It also
sends the message that we care more about their state of
mind than getting our shopping done.
Eliminating grocery store temper tantrums may be impossible.
But handling them well doesn't have to be.
