If there's a single group of people who
are underappreciated more than any other group of
people, it has to be single parents. While
everyone knows being a parent is hard, being a
single parent tends to be even harder. Not only do
you have to play the roles of both parents, but
you're financially responsible for a set of bills
that are usually paid by two incomes. Here are six
of the most common single parent struggles with
tips and strategies on how to overcome them.
1. The Financial Challenges. When you have
two people paying a mortgage of $1,400 or more a
month, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal.
However, when one person is responsible for that
kind of monthly payment, it becomes a big deal
indeed. If you're having a hard time making your
monthly housing payment, try downsizing to a
smaller home, or if that's not possible, refinance
over a longer period of time (or at a lower
interest rate, if possible).
Make sure you do what you can to cut your other
monthly expenses as well. Clip coupons and shop
the sales at your local grocery store, get an
all-in-one phone, cable and high-speed Internet
plan and try shopping Goodwill stores for your
household needs. Believe it or not, Goodwill isn't
just about used clothing. Stores donate brand new
items to the Goodwill center and you can get some
really helpful household items for very little
money. Even inexpensive computers for young
children can be found there.
2. Finding Competent Childcare. Many single
parents are at the mercy of the childcare
opportunities available in their area. No one
wants to leave her child in a childcare center
that is anything but the best. The problem is that
the best is also usually the most expensive. Call
the different childcare centers in your area and
compare charges and services offered. Ask each one
for references and check to see if there are any
financial assistance opportunities available like
reduced price lunches.
3. Gender Issues. A mom who is a single
parent may have a hard time teaching her sons
about the things a dad would normally cover and a
single father may have a hard time discussing
female issues with his daughters. If there isn't a
parental figure for your child to discuss
gender-related issues with, you should enlist the
help of a favorite aunt or uncle or a close family
friend to act as a "surrogate parent"
for your child. It may be easier for your child to
open up to this other significant adult.
4. The World On Your Shoulders. When
there's only one parent in the household, all of
the family responsibilities lay on that person's
shoulders. Cleaning the house, cooking meals,
keeping up the yard, paying the bills, keeping an
eye on the kids and all of the other parental
responsibilities are the sole responsibility of
that parent. It's easy to see that every single
parent needs a break every so often. Make sure you
take a break to revive yourself and re-energize.
Even if it's just sending the kids to a sitter for
a few hours, take that time to catch up on your
reading, watch a favorite movie or just relax to
soothing music.
5. Feeling Lost and Alone. Many single
parents find themselves feeling isolated at one
point or another. They don't really relate to
singles without children because single parents
have an entirely different set of priorities and
responsibilities. If you find yourself feeling a
bit lonely and you want to communicate with people
who can relate to what you're going through, look
into joining a nearby support group for single
parents. Besides just chatting with other adults
and exchanging thoughts and ideas, you may meet a
new friend and enlarge your social circle.
6. Introducing Your Child to Those You are
Dating. Having an array of boyfriends or
girlfriends running in and out of your child's
life isn't good for anyone. Many single parents
are confused as to when a significant other should
be introduced to your child. While it's never good
to hide a growing relationship from your child,
watch that they don't become emotionally involved
with someone you're dating unless you really think
the relationship is going somewhere. At that time
you can plan outings together and involve the
child in the relationship on a deeper level. You
don't want to run the risk of your child getting
hurt should they become attached to a person
you're dating and the relationship doesn't work
out. Sometimes it happens, but try to minimize the
revolving door.
It is said that if a child has one stable adult in
their lives who they can depend on, they will be
ok. You can be that person for your child.
Tips and strategies on how to overcome
the most common issues for single moms and dads.
Karen Fusco is co-founder of www.SilkBow.com
which supports Busy Moms with free gift ideas and
helpful tips to meet the challenges of motherhood.
SilkBow is the perfect place for the perfect gift.
Karen can be reached directly at: karen@SilkBow.com
