Whoever first said that "a friend
in need is a friend indeed" certainly knew what she (or she) was
talking about. Good friends encourage you to live
your dreams, and stand by you through good times
and bad. And, as one recent poll shows, women are
most likely to confide in a friend when they are
facing violence in their home.
"Women draw support from friendship
on so many levels, from sharing beauty secrets and
common experiences to dealing with life's ups and
downs," says Shelley Simmons of The Body
Shop, whose recent global survey revealed that 59
percent of women are most likely to confide in a
friend if affected by domestic violence.
"Social misconceptions about domestic
violence may make women feel more comfortable
confiding in a friend whom they can depend on for
caring, nonjudgmental support."
No one is certain exactly how common
domestic violence is since many cases probably go
unreported. The U.S. Justice Department, however,
estimates the number of annual cases somewhere
between 960,000 and 3 million. Across all age
groups and social strata, women experiencing
violence in the home are far more likely to turn
to a friend for help than anyone else, including
police, health care providers and support groups,
The Body Shop survey shows.
"With the approach of International
Friendship Day in August, it's a great time for
women to get educated on how to recognize the
signs of domestic violence and what to do to help
a friend going through it," says Simmons. The
Body Shop's 2008 Stop Violence in the Home
Campaign focuses on how friendship can provide a
lifeline to women in crisis, and promotes
education on how women can help each other if they
are facing domestic violence. Also, for every
"For Me, For You" Shea Lip Care Duo
sold, the company will donate $9 of the purchase
price towards domestic violence prevention,
education and rescue.
Tell-tale signs a woman is experiencing
violence in the home include:
* She has become quiet or withdrawn from
friends. * She ends phone conversations suddenly
when her partner appears. * Her friends feel
unwelcome or tense when her partner is around. *
She shows signs of difficult-to-explain bruises or
cuts. * She has mentioned that her partner is
possessive or jealous. * Socially, she begins to
see less of her friends.
"Once a friend confides in you about
violence in her home, there are many things you
can do to help her," Simmons says.
* Be patient. Listen, but don't judge.
She must make decisions about her life in her own
way and her own time. * Don't be critical of her
partner, as this may make her feel ashamed and
prevent her from confiding in you again. * Don't
give up if you lose contact with her for a while.
She may temporarily retreat. * Tell her that the
violence isn't her fault; it's a choice and her
partner is the only one responsible for his
behavior. * Remind her that domestic violence is
illegal and the police have to investigate.
Encourage her to seek confidential help from the
police. * Continue to support her and don't give
up on her. You may be her only lifeline. *
Finally, if you suspect she is in immediate
danger, you have no choice but to go to the
police. Saving her life trumps saving the
friendship.
"You may not know someone who is
dealing with domestic violence, but it's still
possible to help those who are," Simmons
says.
First, education is key. Teach your teen
girls that domestic violence is never acceptable.
Second, be the best friend you can be; you never
know what emotional challenges a friend faces.
Simply by sharing love, support and fun times, you
could be giving support to a friend who needs it,
even if you don't know it yet.
Finally, support causes that raise funds
for victims of domestic violence. "Not only
does buying a 'For Me, For You' Shea Lip Care Duo
support efforts to end domestic violence, it's
also a great way for someone to show a friend she
cares and give her a gift that will make her feel
good about herself," Simmons says.
To learn more about how you can support
the fight against domestic violence, or to find a
store of The Body Shop near you, visit www.thebodyshop.com.
Courtesy of ARA Content
